I know there is God And I'm not HIM..

Sitting on my couch in this scorching heat is nothing but a torture yet with the world at your finger tips through the internet somethings could be called a blessing. And so I was browsing through the photo gallery on the website called "SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME" which has a series of pics of people and their favourite one liners. Must admit all of them seemed interesting but the one that caught my eye was this quote "I Know there is a GOD...And I'm not him". Come to think about it isn't it so true. We always try to reach perfection in everything we do. If not perfection at least somewhere close to it. We reach out to the world of friends trying to solve their problems. We think of changing the world and reform it for a better future but where do we actually stand. In an attempt to reach our visions are we not competing with the Creator? Isn't there a limitation to where and how much we can go for? Or is it that like Satan in the epic "Paradise Lost" we are trying to overshadow God and miserably fail to do so. Is that then when depression and anxiety bogs us down? Does this also mean that if one wishes to have a contended life we just stay happy with what we have and not strive for more?

My Guruji says that we should give in our 100% in whatever we are doing or intend to do and leave the rest to God. It is then His job to mark us on our efforts. Does this also seem to be untrue that in spite of our best efforts sometimes things don't fall into place as we want? May be my mind wants to settle down and think that the situation right now in my life is out of my control and that there is GOD to handle it all for me. Sometimes when I look into the eyes of my GOD, i see no answer but a vague and mysterious smile..Is He trying to tell me that He would take care of everything or is that I still haven't given my 100%..

Relived a BOMBAY moment..

April 20th 2009..The day started was just like any normal day which never gave me a hint of the twist my life was to put me through. While I was preparing for my return trip to London I happened to learn that my Dad was dignosed with Lung Cancer and that too in the last stage. The shock was too much for all of us to bear and I'd also like to mention that calling it a shock is like belittling that feeling we all were going through.

My eagerness to see my Dad grew and I felt like doing anything that I could to save my dad from ..... Fate is something we cannot always fight with. All the hustle bustle that I have been going thru just didnt provoke me much to blog all this while and I also admit my lazyness was ruling all the time. I could always cover up for it saying that I was shuttling between medicine, doctors, hospital and home. Too many responsibilities have suddenly been put on my shoulder and I do feel bogged down at times. Its tough to be a Son for my parents but the I'm doing my best. Anyways while my focus was all on my Dad, my son was missing out on my time with him. By the time I'd finish up with my daily chores I'd feel drained so much so that I could never muster up enough energy to get up and just play hide and seek with Abhishek. I realised that I wasnt balancing it well but then I'm a human being too. When I discussed this with Murali, he came up with an idea of bringing Bano (name changed) home so that she could be with my kid and let him not feel the absence of his parents.

I first saw Bano during my marriage reception. A lean girl taking all responsibilities and being an excellent host for all the guests dropping by. My mom-in-law then introduced me to her. She seemed to be right hand for my mom-in-law on such occasions. As days passed I learnt that thi girl was brave and talented. She helped her father with his small shop and also worked at a factory. She loved the kids at our home specially my nephew Nikku since she almost brought him up. Well, all this apart she was a girl with a mind of her own. During my last vacation i learnt that she was facing some problems at home. Her parents wanted to get her married to a guy whom she didnt like. This girl was bold enough to meet the guy and speak it on his face. She was almost succesful in calling off the marriage. But perhaps her parents were even more determined. Call it Ego Clashes..

Anyways I welcomed Murali's idea of getting her home to take care of my son. We tried to reach her only to learn that she had left for Shirdi. As days passed things grew more mysterious because her parents weren't able to trace her whereabouts. One fine day Murali told me Bano had got married and I was taken aback. "err, excuse me..Wht on earth are u talking about yaar? TUmne toh bola woh Shirdi gayi hai" was my reaction. Then Murali told me that she had gone all the way to another town in search of the love of her life. Apparently this was another shock for me in the last couple of days.

But somehow the whole episode only brought to my mind scene from the movie Bombay...the heroine had travelled to an unknown city coz she believed in the power of Love and also her in the words of her Lover. Come to think of it, how bold was that step. Breaking all barriers and living for love...Love which is only promised. The days to come are still vague.. While the heroine had secure future and enjoyed her new life I'm still unsure what is instore for our Bano.

May God Bless her with equally bright future and all the Love she craved for. And while I pray for her I'll leave you all with my favourite song from the movie Bombay which also might throw light of what I have been thinking all this while..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8dac0QRn8k